“It is too late for Al-Anon not to get involved in the Internet…”
A real group
In 1999 a woman in Texas found Al-Anon on the Internet. She was frightened and ashamed, and it was a while before she went to a meeting in person.
It wasn’t long before she was pressed into service. At her first Area assembly she asked the Area’s delegate about the groups on the Internet, and she remembered the answer.
“I don’t know anything about that, I’m too busy with a real group.”
That was what many members thought of the groups online then, she wrote. At another assembly, someone asked how anyone could make sure what was said in them was “true Al-Anon.” She felt she had to answer.
She told how she had found Al-Anon on the Internet, and got a standing ovation. It was the first time she had spoken at an Area assembly.
Al-Anon had been trying meetings by computer since January 1996, when its Board approved a three-year pilot. Its members were already online, a committee said, and Al-Anon had to be there to keep the message “truly Al-Anon” (Logging on, below).
In 2001 the office began registering online meetings, though not as groups, since Al-Anon’s service structure is built on geography. By the end of the year there were 28, in six languages.
None were for Alateen, Al-Anon’s groups for teenagers. Questions about keeping its teenagers safe weren’t settled, and the office didn’t register Alateen meetings online.
The questions had first reached the Conference in 1986, from Alateen sponsors torn between the Traditions and the law when they knew of child abuse. In 2000 the Conference recommended two adult sponsors for every Alateen group, each at least 21 and in Al-Anon at least two years.
Then, on December 3, 2003, Al-Anon’s Board did something it had never done. It required every Area to adopt safety and behavior rules for Alateen by the end of 2004, or its groups could no longer use the Alateen name.
MoreThe minimums
Anyone in Alateen service had to go to Al-Anon meetings, be at least 21, and have two years in Al-Anon besides any time in Alateen. A felony record, a charge of child abuse or inappropriate sexual behavior, or emotional problems that could harm Alateen members ruled a person out.
The Board acted, it said, under the authority it holds to protect the Al-Anon and Alateen names. It didn’t require background checks, though some Areas used them.
The rules themselves had been talked over for years, but the order caught many members off guard. To some it looked like an ultimatum, with no warning.
In one Area in Ontario, an assembly voted the requirements down that October. On New Year’s Eve the member who kept the Area’s group records took its Alateen groups off Al-Anon’s list, through tears.
It was, the member wrote, “the most painful New Year’s Eve of my life in Al-Anon.” A year passed before the Area voted again and its groups could start over.
More919 groups
Groups that didn’t comply came off Al-Anon’s list on December 31, 2004. By 2005, 2,405 Al-Anon members in the United States and Canada had been certified for Alateen service, and by the end of that year 919 Alateen groups had registered again.
At the 2004 Conference the Board’s chairperson, Cecilia L., had said, “I am confident that the Board has made the right decision.” A year later its chairperson, Judy P., opened a discussion of how the decision had been carried out.
She spoke, Al-Anon’s history says, with humility: “Hindsight is 20/20 and often our best teacher.”
During the years of talk with the delegates, she said, the Board had failed to say clearly that it meant to act, or to give them all they needed. It hadn’t seen that it needed to be “standing there with you” when they took the news to their Areas.
For that, she said, “the entire Board makes direct amends to you,” the Conference members.
Only after that did Al-Anon’s office give its teenagers a place online, on trial: in 2006 a bulletin board, Alateen Web Talk, for members 13 to 18, and in 2009 chat meetings in the United States and Finland.
It’s 1999, in Texas. A woman has found Al-Anon on the Internet, and it will be a while before she dares go to a meeting in person. Later, at her first Area assembly, she asks the delegate about the groups online. The delegate says she’s too busy with a real group.
Al-Anon has been trying meetings by computer since 1996. In two years it will register them: twenty-eight, in six languages. But none for Alateen. Al-Anon hasn’t settled how to keep its teenagers safe.
In 2003 its Board does something it has never done before. It orders every Area to adopt rules for the adults who serve in Alateen: at least twenty-one, at least two years in Al-Anon, and still going to meetings. Only after that does Al-Anon’s office give its teenagers a place online.